August 15, 2012

소고기 국수 해줄까? 소고기 국물에.
그래. 뭐 들어가는데?
호박 좀 썰어 넣구 계란 풀면 돼.
다른 건 뭐 안들어가? 깻잎 안 넣어?
깻잎? 넣으면 고소하겠네.
음… 양파는?
아 양파는 꼭 넣어야돼. 잘 아는데?
왠지 먹어본 것 같아. 할머니가 해줬었나?
아마도… 그랬을거야.
…근데 깻잎 넣으면 좀 질기지 않을까?
깻잎이 향이 강해서 맛이 좀…
응 넣지 말자. 아 냉장고가 푸짐하네.

 

엄마도 할머니 생각을 쭉 하고 있던걸까.

저녁엔 가지를 쪄서 무쳤는데 할머니가 해주던 것의 식감이 아니라며 아쉬워 한다.

April 7, 2012
'네가 누구든 얼마나 외롭든'
마지막까지 작년 겨울에 찍었던 이 사진이 자꾸 떠올랐다.

Berlin 2 18 2011

'네가 누구든 얼마나 외롭든'

마지막까지 작년 겨울에 찍었던 이 사진이 자꾸 떠올랐다.

Berlin 2 18 2011

December 15, 2011
December 12, 2011

“  We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.
 Was it better to be with Tereza or to remain alone?
 There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. And what can life …be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself? That is why life is always like a sketch. No, ‘sketch’ is not quite the work for a picture, whereas the sketch that is our life is a sketch for nothing, an outline with no picture.
 Einmal ist keinmal, says Tomas to himself. What happens but once, says the German adage, might as well not have happened at all. If we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all. ”

Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

December 8, 2011

I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus.

Christmas is coming, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel.

I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I’m still not happy.

I always end up feeling depressed.

December 4, 2011

boy.

what do you see in me?

November 26, 2011

.

einmal ist keinmal.